So you believe it’s time for you and your S.O. to move in together. Congratulations! Nobody has to tell you how significant it is to move in together, whether it’s your first attempt at cohabitation or not. And it’s not just because you’ll have to figure out how to divide your closet space!
According to Shift (the experts in moving), if you meet any of these seven criteria, you’re ready to plunge in!
1. You’re aware that you’re exclusive
You’ve ideally had the “what are we?” discussion long before the lease talk came up, but uncomfortable discussions may be easily forgotten when a relationship is going well.
2. You have a good understanding of why you’re doing it.
When it comes to settling in, people frequently make “logical excuses for an emotional choice,” according to Krystal White, PhD, a psychologist specialising in love and leadership, author of The Letter Code: Deciphering Why You Love the Way You Love, and creator of the Executive Shaman podcast.
3. You’ve discussed the “future” talk
Many couples consider living together as a step toward marriage, yet not everyone does, and it’s nearly impossible to guess what they’re thinking.
“You don’t have to be on the same page when it comes to what cohabiting might lead to, but you do need to understand where the other person is at—and accept it,” says White.
4. You’re not hoping the relocation will alter your relationship.
It’s clear that sharing a home is a significant step. Does this necessitate an urgent check: are you hoping that living together will help him or her become a better communicator? Or that they’ll be more motivated to figure out what they want to do with their life?
If your reasoning is more focused on what you want from them than what you want for your bond, it could indicate that you’re not ready.
5. You’ve already had a shouting match.
Fighting is a natural and typical component of being a couple. Having some, uh, disagreements under the rug before moving in is beneficial: You must understand each other’s stress responses and coping methods to be able to resolve issues as they arise.
This is referred to as “rupture and repair.” All you have to do is know how you two burst (argue) and mend (reconcile) —and whether or not you’re satisfied with your problem-solving abilities as a team—and you’re good to go.
6. You know what your “uppers” and “downers” are.
It’s worth having a chat about three things that give you energy (having dinner prepared for you, getting up together for a Saturday morning run) and three things that steal your energy (coming home to discover an unexpected guest).
It’s great—not to mention simple!—workout that helps couples to satisfy each other’s needs.
7. You’re not phased by a loss of personal freedom.
There are a lot of advantages to living with the appropriate individual, but you will be giving up something. Namely, some freedom. Are you ready to share your space with someone new? Or, does the thought send shivers down your spine?